July 21, 2007

Wishes for the Chelsea - LA Galaxy Friendly

1) Michael Essien does a hard tackle on Landon Donovan and incapacitates him.

2) If Essien does the tackle in the penalty area, and Landy goes to take a penalty kick, I hope to hear Joe Cole yell out "kick the fookin' ball ya bleedin' poofter!" during the obnoxious pre-penalty routine Landy has going.

3) Posh Spice's tits explode.

Ultimately, I'd like to hear a discussion between Landon's wife and himself where she asks why somebody the same age as him, like Petr Cech, is playing on such a big team and why Landon is only on the Galaxy.

"Oh, but Bianca, I AM on a big team. We have David Beckham and we're called the GALAXY. What's bigger than the Galaxy, Bianca?"
"I guess nothing..."
"Exactly. Now let's go walk our dogs and find me something that will cover my receding hairline."

Post Match
Beckham comes on and gets met with a hard tackle. Excellente. Chelsea wins, Landon Donovan acts a fool, and American sports journalists got exactly what they wanted from Beckham.

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